Sitting here getting my thoughts down in my blog, and I still can' believe that its the eve of the start my 4th and final cycle of chemo.If I am brutally honest with myself, I have been feeling incredibly nervous all week about squaring up to my final 5-day stint in the hospital. I would have thought by now that I would be taking it all in my proverbial stride. Not to be. Instead, I've been fretting about it non-stop...
...miraculously I've had a change in outlook today, and I owe it all to a visit to London Bridge to visit Debs for lunch. It was a high risk journey on my behalf, as I ran the risk of, once again, doing more than my body would allow me to, or termed another way, my mind writing cheques my body couldn't cash. As it turned out, it did me the world of good. We had a great lunch at a Chinese Dim Sum restaurant which had a great view overlooking the Thames and Tower bridge. After lunch I let Debs get back to work, and I took a very leisurely walk along the Thames South Bank. The change of scenery did the world of good for my psyche and general attitude.
The walk got me thinking about a philosophy that was shared with me by someone I now like to think of as a really good friend. Someone who has provided me with much emotional and physical support through his proficient application of a healing technique, called the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) - his name is Lior.
Lior believes that we inherently defer our happiness to be dependent on some event or the acquiring of some material possession e.g "I will only be happy when I am a millionaire", or "I will only be happy when I have new car", or in my case, "I will only be happy when my chemo is finished and I am totally cured of my cancer". So, one of my little lessons from this nightmare, and from spending time talking to Lior, is that we only have one life, and that life is too short to defer our happiness to be dependent on something that my never happen. This is not meant as a cliched lecture to those of you who read this, but merely a personal 'Aide Memoire' to remind me of how I have now chosen to live my life, and that is to be happy no matter what my circumstances are.
Now, as tough as the final treatment may be, and as much as my new philosophy will be put to the test in the next 5 days, I will certainly give it a good test-drive. So, in the those early hours of the morning when I get those uncontrollable shakes in my legs, I will chose to be happy.
Right now I do feel a little tired (probably having over done it once again), but that's to be expected given that it was my first time back on public transport in 3 months, and having walked as much as I did. I do however feel content about having had such a great day - the memories of which I will cling to while I am in hospital.
8 comments:
Hey Stu
Thanks for all the updates. Glad to hear there are still some enjoyable moments. May the force (EFT) be with you and keep your spirits high as you enter the final round.
You guys are always in my thoughts
Hi bruv, thanks for keeping us updated and glad you managed to get out and about and lift your spirits. I think Lior's outlook on life is so very true, but how easily we forget to count our blessings each day and just smile and be happy no matter what. You are an inspiration Stu - keep strong and know that you are always in my thoughts & prayers. God Bless and sending you light, love & healing energy across the miles, your sis, tashie, xx
Dear Stu,
Inpirational as always.... I'm glad you were in London having a great lunch with Debs.... enjoy the pleasures of not being at the office at this moment!!! I'm sure you can't wait to come back ;-)
I am also a trully believer of your friend Lior's filosophy... now you know Mrs. Giggles' secret for that smile :-)
We had a team meeting yesterday and you get the greetings from your Prism friends.
Although you're one of the strongest and most inspirational persons I know, I Wish you a lot of strenght, patience and spiritual peace!
xxx,Alexandra
Wisey,
cheers for the updates and I hope that i can meet up witn you soon. your friend is right ... one life and that's it ... so be happy and enjoy every minute.
speek soon when you are feeling stronger.
Carsten
Stu
this is your Shri Lanka friend...
I am happy to see that your life force is still there, regardless the massive battle you're facing.
You may have cloudy days, but then you rise again, for another day, and you prepare yourself for the sunny summer, which shortly will come.
You are definetely still there, riding the wave, whether you can control it or not..... This is something that not many people have..
As you know it is part of my believe that our body is just a temporary thing.
What remains, life after life, is our kharma, which is made by our actions of our current life and all actions coming from previous lifes.
This means that we do need to treasure every minute of our life, like if it was the last minute left,.. but also we need to understand that nothing comes to us just by accident. There's always a reason for everthing, regardless the fact we see ourself as good or bad person. But in the meanwhile it's pointless for us to spend time in analysing why things happened and what is the original cause of the unwanted.
It's much more sensible for us to think at what we wanna do now and what we'll be doing tomorrow.
So let's look ahead and take our action based on what we want.
After all...life is a one way journey, it never ends...and it never turns back.
See you soon.
Gianni
Hi Stu Pot,
Great site here and glad to see as always that them happy spirits are surrounding you.
Looking forward to you getting well and seeing your happy face back at work and hoping that we are planning an big, big return to work party.
Thinking of you and wishing you the best...
David D
Hi Stu
Great to hear your updates on this site, its a good forum.
As always your positive attitude and character shine through and are inspirational for us all.
I miss my music guru friend as well, I have no-one to bore with new band talk now :)
All the best, thinking of you.
Charlotte xx
Hey Stu,
The ludite is back! Blogging, what will you think of next!!
What a great way to keep in touch. Although this is my 2nd attempt to get on here....
Its great to know that you have a fantastic network of warm, positive people to get you through the last hurdle & I wanted to add my power of positive thought to your coterie.
By the way I loved Lior's look on life & recall that Freud said something similar "the truely happy man lives for today". Whereas, we all know that the truely happy woman, shops!
Take care of yourself & Debs.
Fight, relax & recover.
Shelleyxx
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